No one can so effectually ruin a woman's happiness and usefulness, and make life a heartsickening burden, as her own husband; and no one can do one hundredth part as much to chill the hopes and aspirations of a man, to paralyze his energies and ruin his influence and prospects, as his own wife. It is from the marriage hour that many men and women date their success or failure in this life, and their hopes of the future life. --AH 43
Let the woman who desires a peaceful, happy union, who would escape future misery and sorrow, inquire before she yields her affections…
What has been his past record?
Is his life pure?
Is the love which he expresses of a noble, elevated character, or is it a mere emotional fondness?
Has he the traits of character that will make me happy?
Can I find true peace and joy in his affection?
Will I be allowed to preserve my individuality, or must my judgment and conscience be
surrendered to the control of him as a husband? . .
Can he honor the Saviour’s claims as supreme?
Will he preserve body and soul, thoughts and purposes, pure and holy?
Has my lover a mother?
What is the stamp of her character?
Does he recognize his obligations to her?
Is he mindful of her wishes and happiness?
If he does not respect and honor his mother, will he manifest respect and love, kindness and attention, toward me as a wife?
When the novelty of marriage is over, will he love me still?
Will he be patient with my mistakes, or will he be critical, overbearing, and dictatorial?
These questions have a vital bearing upon the well-being of every woman who enters the marriage relation.--FLB 257.
Let a young woman accept as a life companion only one who possesses pure, manly traits of character, one who is diligent, aspiring, and honest, one who loves and fears God--AH, p. 47
If you are blessed with God-fearing parents, seek counsel of them. Open to them your hopes and plans, learn the lessons which their life experiences have taught, and you will be saved many a heartache. Above all, make Christ your counselor. Study His word with prayer.--MYP 435.
Take God and your God-fearing parents into your counsel, young friends. Pray over the matter. . . . The step you are about to take is one of the most important in your life, and should not be taken hastily. While you may love, do not love blindly. --FLB 277.
Let those who are contemplating marriage weigh every sentiment and watch every development of character in the one with whom they think to unite their life destiny. Let every step toward a marriage alliance be characterized by modesty, simplicity, sincerity, and an earnest purpose to please and honor God. Marriage affects the afterlife both in this world and in the world to come. A sincere Christian will make no plans that God cannot approve. --MH 359
In business, men and women manifest great caution. Before engaging in any important enterprise, they prepare themselves for their work. Time, money, and much careful study are devoted to the subject, lest they shall make a failure in their undertaking. How much greater caution should be exercised in entering the marriage relation--a relation which affects future generations and the future life? Instead of this, it is often entered upon with jest and levity, impulse and passion, blindness and lack of calm consideration. The only explanation of this is that Satan loves to see misery and ruin in the world, and he weaves this net to entangle souls. He rejoices to have these inconsiderate persons lose their enjoyment of this world and their home in the world to come.--AH 72.
An unsanctified wife is the greatest curse that a minister can have. --Eva 677
Boys and girls enter upon the marriage relation with unripe love, immature judgment, without noble, elevated feelings, and take upon themselves the marriage vows, wholly led by their boyish, girlish passions.--AH 79.
A person's character is judged by his style of dress. A refined taste, a cultivated mind, will be revealed in the choice of simple and appropriate attire. Chaste simplicity in dress, when united with modesty of demeanor, will go far toward surrounding a young woman with that atmosphere of sacred reserve which will be to her a shield from a thousand perils.--Education, p. 248.
Young girls are forward, not modest and retiring as they once were. They engage the attention of the young men, do the courting by seeking their attention, hanging around, and talking with them. And it is a fact that the associations of the young men and women can not be encouraged without marriage being thought of and soon contracted. I write this to warn the young men and women not to be betrayed into foolish attachments which will prove their ruin in the end.--PH152 15.
Even if an engagement has been entered into without a full understanding of the character of the one with whom you intend to unite, do not think that the engagement makes it a positive necessity for you to take upon yourself the marriage vow and link yourself for life to one whom you cannot love and respect. Be very careful how you enter into conditional engagements; but better, far better, break the engagement before marriage than separate afterward, as many do. You may say, "But I have given my promise, and shall I now retract it?" I answer, If you have made a promise contrary to the Scriptures, by all means retract it without delay, and in humility before God repent of the infatuation that led you to make so rash a pledge. Far better take back such a promise, in the fear of God, than keep it, and thereby dishonor your Maker. --AH 48.
There is not one marriage in one hundred that results happily, that bears the sanction of God,
and places the parties in a position better to glorify Him.-- Testimonies vol.4 p.503
Love is a precious gift, which we receive from Jesus. Pure and holy affection is not a feeling, but a principle. Those who are actuated by true love are neither unreasonable nor blind.- MYP p.435
Love….. “rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth.”-- 1 Corinthians 13:7.
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