No one can so effectually ruin a woman's happiness and usefulness, and make life a heartsickening burden, as her own husband; and no one can do one hundredth part as much to chill the hopes and aspirations of a man, to paralyze his energies and ruin his influence and prospects, as his own wife. It is from the marriage hour that many men and women date their success or failure in this life, and their hopes of the future life. --AH 43
Let the woman who desires a peaceful, happy union, who would escape future misery and sorrow, inquire before she yields her affections…
What has been his past record?
Is his life pure?
Is the love which he expresses of a noble, elevated character, or is it a mere emotional fondness?
Has he the traits of character that will make me happy?
Can I find true peace and joy in his affection?
Will I be allowed to preserve my individuality, or must my judgment and conscience be
surrendered to the control of him as a husband? . .
Can he honor the Saviour’s claims as supreme?
Will he preserve body and soul, thoughts and purposes, pure and holy?
Has my lover a mother?
What is the stamp of her character?
Does he recognize his obligations to her?
Is he mindful of her wishes and happiness?
If he does not respect and honor his mother, will he manifest respect and love, kindness and attention, toward me as a wife?
When the novelty of marriage is over, will he love me still?
Will he be patient with my mistakes, or will he be critical, overbearing, and dictatorial?
These questions have a vital bearing upon the well-being of every woman who enters the marriage relation.--FLB 257.
Let a young woman accept as a life companion only one who possesses pure, manly traits of character, one who is diligent, aspiring, and honest, one who loves and fears God--AH, p. 47
If you are blessed with God-fearing parents, seek counsel of them. Open to them your hopes and plans, learn the lessons which their life experiences have taught, and you will be saved many a heartache. Above all, make Christ your counselor. Study His word with prayer.--MYP 435.
Take God and your God-fearing parents into your counsel, young friends. Pray over the matter. . . . The step you are about to take is one of the most important in your life, and should not be taken hastily. While you may love, do not love blindly. --FLB 277.
Let those who are contemplating marriage weigh every sentiment and watch every development of character in the one with whom they think to unite their life destiny. Let every step toward a marriage alliance be characterized by modesty, simplicity, sincerity, and an earnest purpose to please and honor God. Marriage affects the afterlife both in this world and in the world to come. A sincere Christian will make no plans that God cannot approve. --MH 359
In business, men and women manifest great caution. Before engaging in any important enterprise, they prepare themselves for their work. Time, money, and much careful study are devoted to the subject, lest they shall make a failure in their undertaking. How much greater caution should be exercised in entering the marriage relation--a relation which affects future generations and the future life? Instead of this, it is often entered upon with jest and levity, impulse and passion, blindness and lack of calm consideration. The only explanation of this is that Satan loves to see misery and ruin in the world, and he weaves this net to entangle souls. He rejoices to have these inconsiderate persons lose their enjoyment of this world and their home in the world to come.--AH 72.
An unsanctified wife is the greatest curse that a minister can have. --Eva 677
Boys and girls enter upon the marriage relation with unripe love, immature judgment, without noble, elevated feelings, and take upon themselves the marriage vows, wholly led by their boyish, girlish passions.--AH 79.
A person's character is judged by his style of dress. A refined taste, a cultivated mind, will be revealed in the choice of simple and appropriate attire. Chaste simplicity in dress, when united with modesty of demeanor, will go far toward surrounding a young woman with that atmosphere of sacred reserve which will be to her a shield from a thousand perils.--Education, p. 248.
Young girls are forward, not modest and retiring as they once were. They engage the attention of the young men, do the courting by seeking their attention, hanging around, and talking with them. And it is a fact that the associations of the young men and women can not be encouraged without marriage being thought of and soon contracted. I write this to warn the young men and women not to be betrayed into foolish attachments which will prove their ruin in the end.--PH152 15.
Even if an engagement has been entered into without a full understanding of the character of the one with whom you intend to unite, do not think that the engagement makes it a positive necessity for you to take upon yourself the marriage vow and link yourself for life to one whom you cannot love and respect. Be very careful how you enter into conditional engagements; but better, far better, break the engagement before marriage than separate afterward, as many do. You may say, "But I have given my promise, and shall I now retract it?" I answer, If you have made a promise contrary to the Scriptures, by all means retract it without delay, and in humility before God repent of the infatuation that led you to make so rash a pledge. Far better take back such a promise, in the fear of God, than keep it, and thereby dishonor your Maker. --AH 48.
There is not one marriage in one hundred that results happily, that bears the sanction of God,
and places the parties in a position better to glorify Him.-- Testimonies vol.4 p.503
Love is a precious gift, which we receive from Jesus. Pure and holy affection is not a feeling, but a principle. Those who are actuated by true love are neither unreasonable nor blind.- MYP p.435
Love….. “rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth.”-- 1 Corinthians 13:7.
Sunday 21 September 2014
Sunday 14 September 2014
The Mind of A Godly Young Man
“This question of marriage should be a study instead of a matter of impulse.” LYL 29
“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22).
“……a prudent wife is from the LORD.” Proverbs 19:14
“Married life is not all romance; it has its real difficulties and its homely details. The wife must
not consider herself a doll, to be tended, but a woman; one to put her shoulder under real, not
imaginary, burdens, and live an understanding, thoughtful life, considering that there are other
things to be thought of than herself.” FLB 256
“Every girl should learn to take charge of the domestic affairs of home, should be a cook, a
housekeeper, a seamstress. She should understand all those things which it is necessary that the
mistress of a house should know.” FLB 256.
There are very many girls who have married and have families, who have but little practical
knowledge of the duties devolving upon a wife and mother. They can read, and play upon an
instrument of music; but they cannot cook. They cannot make good bread, which is very
essential to the health of the family. They cannot cut and make garments, for they never learned
how. They considered these things unessential, and in their married life they are as dependent
upon some one to do these things for them as are their own little children.-- LYL 19.
“If need be, a young woman can dispense with a knowledge of French and algebra, or even of
the piano; but it is indispensable that she learn to make good bread, to fashion neatly fitting
garments, and to perform efficiently the many duties that pertain to homemaking” FB 256.
“Weigh every sentiment, and watch every development of character in the one with whom you think to
link your life destiny. While you may love, do not love blindly.” {AH 45.1}
“Examine carefully to see if your married life would be happy or inharmonious and wretched.”- AH 45.2
Let the questions be raised……
Is she worthy to stand by my side?
Will her influence ennoble and refine me?
Will she be fitted to bear her share of life’s burdens?
Will she bring happiness to my home?
Is [she] an economist?
Will she, if married, not only use all her own earnings, but all of mine to gratify a vanity, a love of appearance?
What has been her past record?
Is her life pure?
Is the love which she expresses of a noble, elevated character, or is it a mere emotional fondness?
Does she have traits of character that will make me happy?
Can she honor the Saviour's claims as supreme?
Will body and soul, thoughts and purposes, be preserved pure and holy?
Will this union help me heavenward?
Will it increase my love for God?
Will it enlarge my sphere of usefulness in this life?
Will she be patient with my mistakes?
Will she be one who will be patient and painstaking?
Will she cease to care for my parents at the very time when they need a strong son to lean upon?
Does she recognize his obligations to her mother?
Is she mindful of her wishes and happiness?
I know that to the mind of a man infatuated with love and thoughts of marriage these questions will be brushed away as though they were of no consequence. But these things should be duly considered, for they have a bearing upon your future life. --AH 46.
Marriage, in a majority of cases, is a most galling yoke. There are thousands that are mated but not matched. The books of heaven are burdened with the woes, the wickedness, and the abuse that lie hidden under the marriage mantle. This is why I would warn the young who are of a marriageable age to make haste slowly in the choice of a companion. The path of married life may appear beautiful and full of happiness; but why may not you be disappointed as thousands of others have been? --AH 44.
Great care should be taken by Christian youth in the formation of friendships and in the choice of companions. Take heed, lest what you now think to be pure gold turns out to be base metal. Worldly associations tend to place obstructions in the way of your service to God, and many souls are ruined by unhappy unions, either business or matrimonial, with those who can never elevate or ennoble. Never should God's people venture upon forbidden ground. Marriage between believers and unbelievers is forbidden by God. But too often the unconverted heart follows its own desires, and marriages unsanctioned by God are formed. --MYP 436.
Hundreds have sacrificed Christ and heaven in consequence of marrying unconverted persons. Can it be that the love and fellowship of Christ are of so little value to them that they prefer the companionship of poor mortals? Is heaven so little esteemed that they are willing to risk its enjoyments for one who has no love for the precious Saviour? 4T 507.2
Every marriage engagement should be carefully considered, for marriage is a step taken for life.
Both the man and the woman should carefully consider whether they can cleave to each other
through the vicissitudes of life as long as they both shall live --AH, p. 340
Give yourself sufficient time for observation on every point and then do not trust to your own judgment, and let the mother who loves you, and your father, and confidential friends, make critical observations of the one you feel inclined to favor. Trust not to your own judgment, and marry no one whom you feel will not be an honor to your father and mother, one who has intelligence and moral worth” --Letter 59, 1880.
He [Satan] is busily engaged in influencing those who are wholly unsuited to each other to unite
their interests. He exults in this work, for by it he can produce more misery and hopeless woe to the human family than by exercising his skill in any other direction.” --LYL 29
“Above all make Christ your counselor. Study His word with prayer” --MYP, p. 435
There is no safety for any man, young or old, unless he feels the necessity of seeking God for
counsel at every step .--AH, p. 331
“Let God teach you His way. Inquire of Him daily to know His will. He will
give unerring counsel to all who seek Him with a sincere heart” 9T p. 276..
If men and women are in the habit of praying twice a day before they contemplate marriage,
they should pray four times a day when such a step is anticipated. Marriage is something that
will influence and affect your life, both in this world and in the world to come.-- FLB 258
"A prudent wife is from the Lord." "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. . . . She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her," saying, "Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all." He who gains such a wife "findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord." Proverbs 19:14; 31:11, 12, 26-29; 18:22. MH 359.
“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22).
“……a prudent wife is from the LORD.” Proverbs 19:14
“Married life is not all romance; it has its real difficulties and its homely details. The wife must
not consider herself a doll, to be tended, but a woman; one to put her shoulder under real, not
imaginary, burdens, and live an understanding, thoughtful life, considering that there are other
things to be thought of than herself.” FLB 256
“Every girl should learn to take charge of the domestic affairs of home, should be a cook, a
housekeeper, a seamstress. She should understand all those things which it is necessary that the
mistress of a house should know.” FLB 256.
There are very many girls who have married and have families, who have but little practical
knowledge of the duties devolving upon a wife and mother. They can read, and play upon an
instrument of music; but they cannot cook. They cannot make good bread, which is very
essential to the health of the family. They cannot cut and make garments, for they never learned
how. They considered these things unessential, and in their married life they are as dependent
upon some one to do these things for them as are their own little children.-- LYL 19.
“If need be, a young woman can dispense with a knowledge of French and algebra, or even of
the piano; but it is indispensable that she learn to make good bread, to fashion neatly fitting
garments, and to perform efficiently the many duties that pertain to homemaking” FB 256.
“Weigh every sentiment, and watch every development of character in the one with whom you think to
link your life destiny. While you may love, do not love blindly.” {AH 45.1}
“Examine carefully to see if your married life would be happy or inharmonious and wretched.”- AH 45.2
Let the questions be raised……
Is she worthy to stand by my side?
Will her influence ennoble and refine me?
Will she be fitted to bear her share of life’s burdens?
Will she bring happiness to my home?
Is [she] an economist?
Will she, if married, not only use all her own earnings, but all of mine to gratify a vanity, a love of appearance?
What has been her past record?
Is her life pure?
Is the love which she expresses of a noble, elevated character, or is it a mere emotional fondness?
Does she have traits of character that will make me happy?
Can she honor the Saviour's claims as supreme?
Will body and soul, thoughts and purposes, be preserved pure and holy?
Will this union help me heavenward?
Will it increase my love for God?
Will it enlarge my sphere of usefulness in this life?
Will she be patient with my mistakes?
Will she be one who will be patient and painstaking?
Will she cease to care for my parents at the very time when they need a strong son to lean upon?
Does she recognize his obligations to her mother?
Is she mindful of her wishes and happiness?
I know that to the mind of a man infatuated with love and thoughts of marriage these questions will be brushed away as though they were of no consequence. But these things should be duly considered, for they have a bearing upon your future life. --AH 46.
Marriage, in a majority of cases, is a most galling yoke. There are thousands that are mated but not matched. The books of heaven are burdened with the woes, the wickedness, and the abuse that lie hidden under the marriage mantle. This is why I would warn the young who are of a marriageable age to make haste slowly in the choice of a companion. The path of married life may appear beautiful and full of happiness; but why may not you be disappointed as thousands of others have been? --AH 44.
Great care should be taken by Christian youth in the formation of friendships and in the choice of companions. Take heed, lest what you now think to be pure gold turns out to be base metal. Worldly associations tend to place obstructions in the way of your service to God, and many souls are ruined by unhappy unions, either business or matrimonial, with those who can never elevate or ennoble. Never should God's people venture upon forbidden ground. Marriage between believers and unbelievers is forbidden by God. But too often the unconverted heart follows its own desires, and marriages unsanctioned by God are formed. --MYP 436.
Hundreds have sacrificed Christ and heaven in consequence of marrying unconverted persons. Can it be that the love and fellowship of Christ are of so little value to them that they prefer the companionship of poor mortals? Is heaven so little esteemed that they are willing to risk its enjoyments for one who has no love for the precious Saviour? 4T 507.2
Every marriage engagement should be carefully considered, for marriage is a step taken for life.
Both the man and the woman should carefully consider whether they can cleave to each other
through the vicissitudes of life as long as they both shall live --AH, p. 340
Give yourself sufficient time for observation on every point and then do not trust to your own judgment, and let the mother who loves you, and your father, and confidential friends, make critical observations of the one you feel inclined to favor. Trust not to your own judgment, and marry no one whom you feel will not be an honor to your father and mother, one who has intelligence and moral worth” --Letter 59, 1880.
He [Satan] is busily engaged in influencing those who are wholly unsuited to each other to unite
their interests. He exults in this work, for by it he can produce more misery and hopeless woe to the human family than by exercising his skill in any other direction.” --LYL 29
“Above all make Christ your counselor. Study His word with prayer” --MYP, p. 435
There is no safety for any man, young or old, unless he feels the necessity of seeking God for
counsel at every step .--AH, p. 331
“Let God teach you His way. Inquire of Him daily to know His will. He will
give unerring counsel to all who seek Him with a sincere heart” 9T p. 276..
If men and women are in the habit of praying twice a day before they contemplate marriage,
they should pray four times a day when such a step is anticipated. Marriage is something that
will influence and affect your life, both in this world and in the world to come.-- FLB 258
"A prudent wife is from the Lord." "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. . . . She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her," saying, "Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all." He who gains such a wife "findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord." Proverbs 19:14; 31:11, 12, 26-29; 18:22. MH 359.
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