“This question of marriage should be a study instead of a matter of impulse.” LYL 29
“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22).
“……a prudent wife is from the LORD.” Proverbs 19:14
“Married life is not all romance; it has its real difficulties and its homely details. The wife must
not consider herself a doll, to be tended, but a woman; one to put her shoulder under real, not
imaginary, burdens, and live an understanding, thoughtful life, considering that there are other
things to be thought of than herself.” FLB 256
“Every girl should learn to take charge of the domestic affairs of home, should be a cook, a
housekeeper, a seamstress. She should understand all those things which it is necessary that the
mistress of a house should know.” FLB 256.
There are very many girls who have married and have families, who have but little practical
knowledge of the duties devolving upon a wife and mother. They can read, and play upon an
instrument of music; but they cannot cook. They cannot make good bread, which is very
essential to the health of the family. They cannot cut and make garments, for they never learned
how. They considered these things unessential, and in their married life they are as dependent
upon some one to do these things for them as are their own little children.-- LYL 19.
“If need be, a young woman can dispense with a knowledge of French and algebra, or even of
the piano; but it is indispensable that she learn to make good bread, to fashion neatly fitting
garments, and to perform efficiently the many duties that pertain to homemaking” FB 256.
“Weigh every sentiment, and watch every development of character in the one with whom you think to
link your life destiny. While you may love, do not love blindly.” {AH 45.1}
“Examine carefully to see if your married life would be happy or inharmonious and wretched.”- AH 45.2
Let the questions be raised……
Is she worthy to stand by my side?
Will her influence ennoble and refine me?
Will she be fitted to bear her share of life’s burdens?
Will she bring happiness to my home?
Is [she] an economist?
Will she, if married, not only use all her own earnings, but all of mine to gratify a vanity, a love of appearance?
What has been her past record?
Is her life pure?
Is the love which she expresses of a noble, elevated character, or is it a mere emotional fondness?
Does she have traits of character that will make me happy?
Can she honor the Saviour's claims as supreme?
Will body and soul, thoughts and purposes, be preserved pure and holy?
Will this union help me heavenward?
Will it increase my love for God?
Will it enlarge my sphere of usefulness in this life?
Will she be patient with my mistakes?
Will she be one who will be patient and painstaking?
Will she cease to care for my parents at the very time when they need a strong son to lean upon?
Does she recognize his obligations to her mother?
Is she mindful of her wishes and happiness?
I know that to the mind of a man infatuated with love and thoughts of marriage these questions will be brushed away as though they were of no consequence. But these things should be duly considered, for they have a bearing upon your future life. --AH 46.
Marriage, in a majority of cases, is a most galling yoke. There are thousands that are mated but not matched. The books of heaven are burdened with the woes, the wickedness, and the abuse that lie hidden under the marriage mantle. This is why I would warn the young who are of a marriageable age to make haste slowly in the choice of a companion. The path of married life may appear beautiful and full of happiness; but why may not you be disappointed as thousands of others have been? --AH 44.
Great care should be taken by Christian youth in the formation of friendships and in the choice of companions. Take heed, lest what you now think to be pure gold turns out to be base metal. Worldly associations tend to place obstructions in the way of your service to God, and many souls are ruined by unhappy unions, either business or matrimonial, with those who can never elevate or ennoble. Never should God's people venture upon forbidden ground. Marriage between believers and unbelievers is forbidden by God. But too often the unconverted heart follows its own desires, and marriages unsanctioned by God are formed. --MYP 436.
Hundreds have sacrificed Christ and heaven in consequence of marrying unconverted persons. Can it be that the love and fellowship of Christ are of so little value to them that they prefer the companionship of poor mortals? Is heaven so little esteemed that they are willing to risk its enjoyments for one who has no love for the precious Saviour? 4T 507.2
Every marriage engagement should be carefully considered, for marriage is a step taken for life.
Both the man and the woman should carefully consider whether they can cleave to each other
through the vicissitudes of life as long as they both shall live --AH, p. 340
Give yourself sufficient time for observation on every point and then do not trust to your own judgment, and let the mother who loves you, and your father, and confidential friends, make critical observations of the one you feel inclined to favor. Trust not to your own judgment, and marry no one whom you feel will not be an honor to your father and mother, one who has intelligence and moral worth” --Letter 59, 1880.
He [Satan] is busily engaged in influencing those who are wholly unsuited to each other to unite
their interests. He exults in this work, for by it he can produce more misery and hopeless woe to the human family than by exercising his skill in any other direction.” --LYL 29
“Above all make Christ your counselor. Study His word with prayer” --MYP, p. 435
There is no safety for any man, young or old, unless he feels the necessity of seeking God for
counsel at every step .--AH, p. 331
“Let God teach you His way. Inquire of Him daily to know His will. He will
give unerring counsel to all who seek Him with a sincere heart” 9T p. 276..
If men and women are in the habit of praying twice a day before they contemplate marriage,
they should pray four times a day when such a step is anticipated. Marriage is something that
will influence and affect your life, both in this world and in the world to come.-- FLB 258
"A prudent wife is from the Lord." "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. . . . She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her," saying, "Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all." He who gains such a wife "findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord." Proverbs 19:14; 31:11, 12, 26-29; 18:22. MH 359.
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